I realise as I start to write this blog that it could land me in some hot water. So, I asked myself, “Why do I do it?” Why don’t I just write about things that will tickle people’s ears? Why don’t I write about princesses and princes, feathers and crowns? That would be far easier and I’d probably have more ‘followers’. I know that my main motivation for writing the stuff that I do is that I really love God’s church, but I want to stop Christians from either being thrown off a cliff or jumping off themselves. This is happening to too many, in my opinion, (“your honour” – that’s for any ‘Good Wife’ fans!!). They say that you should find your one big thing that drives you crazy and talk or write about that. If you’ve read me before, then you know that what drives me crazy are the amount of Christian lives that are sick, weak, defeated, bitter, disillusioned and, quite frankly, dull, with no adventure in sight. I honestly don’t believe that Jesus went through what he went through for that. And so, although it would be nicer to write about princesses and feathers, I know it won’t do you or me any good.

Before I really get going, I need to stress that I’m not addressing those situations that have happened to you or are happening right now that we have no answers for – I guess there will always be those scenarios. I want to address situations that I think I do have answers for and, unless we take seriously the rules that Jesus commanded us to live by, believers won’t stop falling off cliffs.

Clichés are things that we fall back on when we don’t really know what else to say, here are some of my ‘favourites!’ (In case you don’t know me, I’m being a tad sarcastic here!) I love it when preachers say ‘hello’ as if I’m not in the room or I’m an idiot – Maybe when it first came out, around fifty years ago, it was funny – it’s just not any more so can we stop it? ‘Boom!’ what is that and what does it mean? ‘God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.’ ‘Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, just like living in a garage, doesn’t make you a car’ ‘love the sinner, don’t love the sin’ ‘everything happens for a reason’, ‘Good morning, this is God, I will be taking care of your problems today, so just relax and enjoy your day’, now, some of those are a bit of fun and all maybe carried something when the original author said them first, but after a while, they just become an echo and something easy to say when we can’t think of anything else. The one that I want to hone in on in this particular blog is ‘God is in control’.

I hear this said or written down so many times, that the last time I saw it, I said to myself and to my husband, I’m going to write a blog on these four words that roll off some Christians’ tongue as easily as saying hello to the kids every morning. We need to stop and think more about this little phrase and ask the question, ‘Is He?’ In case you’re freaking out a bit, let me assure you that if you’re a Christian, you are a princess or prince and you are going to heaven – that’s a given because of his grace, thank God! But I do not believe God is in control of a life that is not surrendered to him. You cannot live how you like and make crass decisions and then when something goes wrong, glibly say, God is in control – He just isn’t, you did it all on your own. Here are some scenarios, and there’s probably hundreds more where we simply have no right to say that God is in control – remember I am trying to help and not condemn. (the reason for the red writing will become clear at the end of the list)

• If you lead with manipulation, control and fear and your church or organisation is falling apart around you
• If you’re a nasty, unpleasant or gossiping person at work and you lose your job because of those things.
• If you’re on pornography frequently or you’re having inappropriate relationships with someone you shouldn’t be yet your marriage is struggling.
• If you’re getting drunk regularly and you’re struggling with sickness.
• If you’re a lazy Christian and your life isn’t going as planned.
• If you’re holding un-forgiveness towards someone and you’re suffering with depression.
• If you’re not tithing and giving to church and others and your finances are in a mess
• If you eat far too much wrong stuff and you’ve got a weight or diabetic problem.

The reason I have put the ends of these statements in red is to say that when we pray for things, either in a prayer line or a prayer chain, we often focus on the red things and ignore the black. I want to challenge you and me to have the guts to focus on the black in our lives because if we don’t, we have no chance of getting the red stuff in answered – it won’t happen. I’m not saying that every red part of our lives has a black part, sometimes it doesn’t, things just happen, but I honestly think, after over twenty-five years of ministry, there are far more black parts than we want to acknowledge because that’s just much easier to do. Let’s face it, who wants to go to a prayer line with depression and be encouraged that you need to forgive that person who really hurt you. (forgiveness is not easy and I speak from vast experience, but it can be a step towards healing if we’ll do it, for sure) It’s so much easier to say, this is it for me, but God is in control. Who wants to go out for prayer for a marriage problem and told to face up to the pornography issue? Isn’t it much easier to put an arm around a distraught wife than open that can of worms? Of course it is and that’s what the enemy is more than happy with.

Most, not all, of our problems start with us and our bad choices. (Of course we, as Christians, have to add into the mix our enemy) – I read this recently, ‘everything happens for a reason, and sometimes that reason is because you were stupid’ Did you know that there is a verse in the Bible that uses the word, stupid.

 It’s in Proverbs 12:1

“Whoever loves discipline, loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Wow!

We’re told in James 1:14 & 15

“But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

The death that James is talking about here is not just physical death, although I believe that enough fully grown sin could lead to that, he’s talking about the absence of life.

The death I am pointing out today is the red bits of the above statements. The red bits might look nothing like the baby birthed when you gave birth to death or when you continued to make wrong choices without redeeming them along the way. If you’re struggling with anything that you may perceive as red, let me encourage you to look inside to see if there is any black that you need to deal with first. Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth it? Absolutely, yes! What we can’t afford to do for a minute longer is just accept the red and say, God is in control. He just isn’t, we did it all by ourselves. If you want to talk to me or John about any of this stuff, feel free to contact us – we’d love to help if we can. deb@agapelife.co.uk or john@agapelife.co.uk

If you attack the black, I am confident you are more likely to  defeat the red.