“Be in the ministry”, they said, (We are) “it’ll be great”, they said (it is); “Full time working for the Lord, what a privilege” they said (and it is!)

John & I love Jesus and love serving Him and the call of God to full time ministry is indeed an honour. BUT, I thought I’d write some of the reality that hits at times, that hurts at times and that baffles you, at times.

As most of you know, we’ve been in full time ministry for over 30 years, and we’ve seen a lot! The funny side – someone being baptised with teeth and coming up out of the water without them because they were false! True story – John went back under the water to ‘rescue’ said teeth. To the utterly heartbreaking scene when John did the funeral service of Siamese twins just after they were born. We’ve made lifelong friends and, on occasions, even those friends have wounded us to a point we wondered whether we’d recover. We did recover and we recovered the friendships.

So, yes, it’s extremely fulfilling, and heart breaking almost every day. We gave up leading a church when we went back to Tanzania in 2013. We did have a house church, but it wasn’t anything like leading a church in the UK for a number of reasons. During those 6 years, we discovered that we could live without leading a church, in other words, it never defined us, our lives were just as fulfilled without that particular role. BUT, we also discovered, without wanting to sound conceited, it’s what we do best. Equipping the church for works of service (my understanding of pastoring) is what we actually loved to do, so when we got the call for Newcastle, even though my initial reaction to our regional leader wasn’t the best! Hahaha! Thank God He doesn’t listen to us, we know that we are in the right place at the right time and we are in exciting days up here in the Northeast! Why more pastors don’t want to move up here is a mystery! It’s a fantastic part of the UK!

BUT, there are days when you wonder what it would be like to be a deck chair attendant! Read John’s book to understand that comment!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cant-deckchair-attendant-instead-Bullock-ebook/dp/B085S2J3F5/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3QK524D7YWBWD&keywords=Can%27t+I+be+a+deckchair+attendant+instead&qid=1701168547&sprefix=can%27t+i+be+a+deckchair+attendant+instead%2Caps%2C112&sr=8-1

I’m not sure you ever learn to take compliments with a pinch of salt. We know of mans’ need of significance, acceptance and security, we want to be liked and so when people say things like ‘top pastors ever’ ‘top drawer sermon pastor’ ‘we love your teaching’ ‘hope you never leave’ I do think they mean it at the time, but when you have to bring a challenge, suddenly, they don’t think that anymore. Often, they leave without a word; and you’re left wondering why. Or they withdraw their tithe, their smile, their encouragement. AND IT HURTS.

I have to say that I’m writing this more for you, the reader, than for me. Even though things still sting a bit, I’ve matured to a place where it doesn’t hurt as much as it once would have. People are human, affected by deceit, and probably don’t even realise they’re hurting you.

For you pastors, who have maybe just begun your journey or you’ve been at it ages, and you’re hurting because of what some of your sheep may be doing, if you’re called, don’t quit.

When Peter had denied Jesus, in Lukes’s version of the story, there is a poignant verse where he writes,

 

^‘Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.” (Luke 22:60-62)

I can’t imagine how Peter must have felt by the look that Jesus gave him.

The word, ‘agape’ is mentioned pretty much every week in our church. Why? Because, by and large, we’re not living it. We live in conditional love most of the time. All of us. So we must keep Agape before us. It’s a power, not an emotion. It’s a command, not a choice.

The reason for this blog – I woke up this morning with this thought. ‘How do you lead people without worrying what they might think or feel towards you?’

Answer: I think! Get so full of God’s love, that you will only do what the Father tells you to do and if you know you’re doing that, it matters not what others think. We serve an audience of one.

Tough decisions are a part of leadership. Oh, and if you’re a sheep, be a nice one.

Until next time, D xx

I’ve never written a blog like this before and that’s because it’s not going to be me speaking! Freaked out? Me too! I feel like God wants to communicate with us. We were in our prayer meeting last night (Wednesday 25^th October 2023) praying for Israel and I had what I can only describe as a few moments where God was speaking to me concerning what is happening. This is what I believe He said:

 

“The only way you can approach what is happening in my beloved Israel is through the eyes of eternity. My desire is that no-one should perish, and I give everyone a chance to receive me into their hearts, ‘For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse’. (Romans 1:21)

I want you to know that every baby that has been ripped from their mother’s womb, every child that has been murdered is with me now. Free and happy with me.

I want you to know that I have appeared to many adults too. As rocks and bombs fall, as women are raped, as people are beheaded, I can reach them in ways you will never understand this side of eternity. I have and will appear to those who are still alive in their dreams – you know this is true because you’ve heard the stories.

What’s coming on this earth is only going to get worse, the book of Revelation will tell you that.

‘And out of the smoke locusts came down on the earth and were given power like that of scorpions of the earth. ⁴ They were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any plant or tree, but only those people who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads. ⁵ They were not allowed to kill them but only to torture them for five months. And the agony they suffered was like that of the sting of a scorpion when it strikes. ⁶ During those days people will seek death but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them.’ (Rev 9:3-6)

‘They were scorched by the fierce heat, and they cursed the name of God who had power over these plagues. They did not repent and give him glory.’ (Rev 16:9)

Even in their worst nightmare, men and women will still refuse to accept the one who gave his life for them. They choose to go to hell. It is not my choice, but theirs alone.

In a million years from now, the atrocities that you’re witnessing on earth, will cease to matter. What matters most to me is eternity. You want to know how to pray? Pray for the salvation of humanity. I repeat, they won’t all make it to Paradise, but that will be on them, not me. I AM AGAPE.

Ps: If you don’t know me yet, now would be a good time. Deb will tell you how. X

Recently, I woke up at 6.am with the following on my heart. For me, it’s a dangerous time to write! In the sense that I know it’s probably going to be a challenge!

I was at the MIT (Minster in training) conference 2023. My second one. I am 54 years old, been in ministry alongside my fantastic husband for over 30 years. We pastored in the Rhondda Valley for 22 years, (2 separate stints), we were missionaries in Tanzania for 9 years (2 separate stints) and we’re now leading the Elim church,  Kingdom Life Church, in Newcastle – been there for just over 4 years and we are loving life and ministry! 

How did I get to be a MIT? If you’d have said to me in the summer of 2021 that I’d be applying to become a minister, I’d have laughed you out of the park! It was never something I thought I wanted or needed to do! And I know this may sound a bit weird, but it was a dream, which I believe was from God that got me in the position I now find myself. I can still picture me and John in the car driving through Wales when I told him my dream. His response wasn’t what I thought it would be! I thought he would also laugh me out of the park, not in a demeaning way at all, just because he, like me, didn’t ever see this coming! If you see me, you can ask me about the dream, but it’s enough for here. However, the more I go on this journey, the more I can see that God has a purpose for it. I believe I can confidently say, I feel called to this. 

That being said, I’m kind of a reluctant MIT! Haha!

This is what was on my heart when I woke up! 

If we don’t put the right people, male or female, in charge of our churches, the church will become weak with no voice. If pastors, seek to ‘climb the ladder’ to manipulate positions, it will not end well. Now, more than ever, leaders need to be men and women of integrity. The stories that we are all reading or watching at the moment e.g. Mike Pilavachi; Hillsong; the Falwells, must create an urgency in everyone who is responsible for interviewing, training and commissioning leaders to get it right – and if ‘no’ is right, then ‘no’ is good! 

I worry that a motive of diversity, i.e., male to female ratios and inclusion are in danger of becoming bigger than the call of God, I worry that people will be put in charge of churches who aren’t meant to be there just so we can say we reached the target. We will let men and women into training who maybe shouldn’t be, we will put them on the front line of ministry when they shouldn’t be there. I don’t think targets will be at the forefront of decisions, but, if they are in the picture at all, these things have a way of being in the background and ‘help’ us make decisions that perhaps we wouldn’t make if there weren’t targets to reach or people to please.  

I don’t want to be a part of something that ticks an equality box. Don’t get me wrong, of course I believe in equality, but that shouldn’t be the driving force of any decisions, from local church teams to lead pastors and everything in between. Being in ministry is very hard. Being the no. 1 leader of a church is very hard. I am extremely blessed to be working with John. I’m not sure I would want to be ‘no. 1’ without him by my side. It’s too hard. Granted, after over 30 years, the things that once bothered us, no longer do, but for those starting out in the world in which we live, we have to know it’s a calling from God. 

Here’s a ‘shoot from the hip’ question if you’re a pastor – “Are people following you?”

Don’t shoot me for saying this, but, at one time, not that long ago, I would have said, women shouldn’t be no. 1’s (Lead pastors) in churches simply for their protection. Put the guns away haha! –  I no longer think this. I have been on a personal journey to the point that I now believe that women can and should be no. 1’s. BUT if we move away from the call of God to a target-based selection process, it won’t end well, and people will get hurt. Every denomination and movement have a responsibility to put the right leaders, called by God, into leadership positions. God help us never to make any decisions based on boxes ticked. 

And now for something completely different! A little less of a challenge

Nature is amazing isn’t it!? Let’s look at three fascinating creatures. 

Ants

Did you know that Ants can carry 10-50 times their body weight? And when you see an ant hill above ground, beneath your feet is 185 square metres of a mini city where life happens for ants.

After about a year, they move on and can create their new home in around 3 days! They are hard workers.

We read a few things about ants in the Bible.

Proverbs 30:25 says,

²⁵ the ants are a people not strong,
    yet they provide their food in the summer;

Isn’t it strange how it refers to them as ‘people’?

Proverbs 6: 6-11 speaks to us about how hard working the ant is and if we don’t work hard, life won’t be good or easy. (my paraphrase!)

Bees

I first read this about a year ago and I was totally blown away.

Queen bees and worker bees are genetically identical. Queen bees lay up to two thousand eggs a day, while worker bees are functionally sterile. Queens live up to three years; workers may live only three weeks. The difference between the two is diet. When the hive’s queen is dying, a larva is picked by nurse bees to be fed a secreted substance called royal jelly. When the larva eats this jelly, the enzyme that had been silencing the expression of royal genes is turned off and a new queen is born. The queen has the exact same genes as any of the workers, but because of what she ate, different genes are expressed, and her life and life span are dramatically altered as a result. 

Wow! Can we apply that to us? Of course. How we live and what we eat is going to affect our souls and our bodies. Do some research on food and serious illness, I think you may be surprised – I know I was.

Finally and perhaps the most fascinating,

Butterflies

I think you’ll probably know that a caterpillar is completely different from the butterfly it becomes, it metamorphosises into a brand-new creature. 

Sound familiar? (2 Corinthians 5:17)

We’ve been talking about caterpillars, cocoons and butterflies a lot lately and one of things I said to John was, you can’t be a butterfly unless to go into the cocoon. 

Watch this video for a look at what takes place.

Caterpillar, cocoon, butterfly

Some of the words that I was thinking when watching that were, it’s messy, looks uncomfortable. Also, how good would it be if all we had to do was eat! 

If you’re a follower of Jesus, an obvious picture of this caterpillar to butterfly experience is the one of salvation, hands down, the best one, but I think throughout our lives we can experience a few chrysalis moments if we sign on for a life of adventure with Jesus. 

What we do and how we approach Chrysalis or cocoon moments is up to us. I imagine the caterpillar just hangs there! For us, it might be right to just hang! To be still, to listen to God. When was the last time you sat in silence? In our noisy world of distractions, it’s not easy to do, but it’s a good discipline to get into. 

Just recently I learnt that if you were to open a cocoon, you wouldn’t have a clue what was happening. You’d basically see caterpillar soup.  The phrase used to describe what’s happening was identity suicide. (Paul Scanlon)

Transition is hard, and our default can be to go back to being a caterpillar because that’s what’s known.  But if you want to become a butterfly you will have to commit identity suicide. You will have to become a different person. I’ve had a few cocoon moments in my life, just recently been through one. I know I’m not the same person I was even a few months ago. 

We must do what we’re told in Ephesians 4:22-24

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” 

Put off your old self. Put on the new self. We are responsible for this. 

Get rid of stuff that so easily entangles. What are your defaults? Are they healthy ones? 

Someone brought a great challenge to us in one of our prayer meetings, ‘Would you live yesterday the same again, or would do some things differently or not at all?’ Great question!

I’d like to incorporate some of the life lessons of the ant, the bee, and the butterfly. 

I’m up for working hard, I’m up for looking after my body & soul, and I’m up for the stretching/cocoon times.

Are you?

Until next time

D xx

Before I get onto this great subject that I’m learning about in this season (wish I’d known about it 30 years ago!) I have to say a huge thank you to all of you who read my blog last week. “Can I get a lift with you, no, sorry” It had a LOT of readership and I had some great comments, so thanks!

Sabbath v. day off – If you’d have asked me a few months ago whether I took a Sabbath, I would probably have answered, ‘yes’. Since we began in ministry back in 1989, we have always taken a Tuesday off. I don’t know why we took Tuesday, but it’s always worked for us. And, unless there has been an emergency or a meeting we had to attend, we’ve stuck to it – our churches have known it and it’s been great. Then we read ‘the ruthless elimination of hurry’ by John Mark Comer and we realised the huge difference between a day off and a Sabbath!

Before we go to the Sabbath, let me challenge this – over the years, I’ve often asked ministers if they take a day off – so many say, ‘no’ I don’t have the time. I don’t have to say much on this, I’ll just leave it to God and then pose a question and a challenge.

“By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work” Genesis 2:2

Who do you think you are, with allegedly no time to rest, when God rested? If you’re in full time ministry and you don’t take a regular day off, in mine and apparently God’s opinion, you’re doing it wrong. Yolk easy, burden light. This isn’t about an easy life, but we should all be carrying easy yolks. If that’s not your experience, then as the girls in Frozen say, ‘let it (some things) go. We can’t possibly function better than God.

The challenge now, for me, is the Sabbath and what that means.

Here is the first time we hear about the Sabbath:

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor and do all your work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. ¹¹ For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” Exodus 20:8-11

It’s the longest commandment and the only one with a reason to do it, and that’s because God did it.

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to go to the shops on Sundays, I never understood why, it was just that way. Learning about the Sabbath 50 years on, I kinda get it now.

No one was allowed to work for one day a week. I want you to imagine what our world would be like if everyone just stopped! Of course, shops used to be closed on Sundays – no one could shop, no one could shop! The UK stopped and probably had a much more relaxing day than they do now because of that. Sundays don’t work great for Christians of course because of church commitment which I am fully supportive of – don’t be taking a Sabbath on a Sunday! I’m not saying that.

Comer’s great description is this: Sabbath is meant to be a day when you stop and rest. Switch your phone off and do something for 24 hours that is either rest or worship and that fills your joy shelf up! (My paraphrase) If you’re not sure what the difference is between a day off and a Sabbath, let me give you an example that happened to us recently that convinced me of the difference!

We went out in the car to a shopping centre to look for something we needed to buy. On our way there, John was on hold to HMRC – do I need to comment any more on the ‘stress’ that was causing – can you hear the tune they play for 3 hours before they answer the call? You have to work your self up to be ready to make that phone call. As we pulled into the car park, our car decided to break down! Thankfully it was there and not on the roads we’d been driving along. So, that meant another call to the RAC and a 6 hour wait all while sorting out an issue with the tax people! John and I rarely get stressed and we weren’t really stressed during this time because we’ve learned to be a peace, whatever is going on, BUT, this was definitely a day off and NOT a Sabbath.

If we’d taken a proper Sabbath as I’m beginning to learn, we wouldn’t have gone shopping or had the phone on. We’d have stopped for 24 hours and none of the above stress would have happened. Can you see the difference?

A day off is where you go shopping either on line or physically, you deal with the bank, the tax man, amazon, etc…On a Sabbath, you rest or worship. And a Sabbath will look differently for everyone.

Remember,

“Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” Mark 2:27

So, we’re not going to all do the same like the Israelites did, although Jewish communities today still practice the Sabbath in all the traditional ways and something about that is very attractive in the sense that they are all doing it together as a community, but the flip side is, it can turn into religion rather than relationship with Jesus and something that is done because you have to rather than you want to.

I’m skimming the surface of this great subject but it does seem to be raising its head in a number of different sources, so maybe God is wanting to get our attention. Apparently, something like, the difference between working for 55 hours and 65 hours a week is nothing as far as productivity is concerned, they wield the same results. That’s kind of like the difference between working 6 days a week compared to 7. Maybe God was right? Shocker!

I don’t know what your week looks like, and you might be saying, ‘I don’t have time for a Sabbath’. If that’s true, and I would question it because of God, then take half a Sabbath. Get your kids involved, our daughter and son-in-law are months ahead of us on practicing the Sabbath and they have a 5 and 3 year old and a 5 month old – it’s doable or God wouldn’t have said or done it. Don’t know where to start? switch your phone off for half a day (when was the last time you switched your phone off?) and don’t buy anything! It will set you free. John and I have only done one full Sabbath in the last few weeks but I know we want and need to make it a regular part of our week. I know we will function better because of it.

If you want to understand more I can’t recommend John Mark Comer’s book enough – ‘The Ruthless elimination of Hurry’

Until next time,

D x

It’s Thursday the 8th June, 7.00am. We are waking up to the story that 100 people have now come forward to say that Mike Pilavachi abused them. When John told me this, I said, ‘I have no words’

I sat down with a heavy heart and began my quiet time (another discipline that is being quashed by some – but that’s another blog!) but I couldn’t fully concentrate as I knew I had to write. I prayed for Mike, despite the allegations, and other things, did my Bible readings which I love to do and now I am at my Ipad to say this….

If we dismiss the Billy Graham rule which basically says, don’t be alone with a person of the opposite sex who isn’t your partner, (maybe we should add the same sex in today’s society? The Billy Graham rule plus!), I believe we will do so at our peril.

I can almost feel the eye rolls of some, but hear me out.

It doesn’t really matter much now whether all the stories about Mike Pilavachi are true or not. I’m pretty sure some will be but others won’t. If he’d have had strong boundaries in place – however silly they may have looked, and a team who weren’t afraid to call him out, he might not be in the predicament he finds himself in today.

John & I have been in ministry for over 30 years and I’m not even sure why we made the decisions we made, but make them we did and we’ve almost never been in those situations and if we ever were, it was an emergency situation. We never counsel the opposite sex on our own and we don’t get in cars on our own with members of the opposite sex.

If you make it a principle, you’re covered. It’s not personal to the people around you, it’s a protection. Boundaries are there to protect us. Let’s take a scenario. You regularly get in cars or offices with people of the opposite sex, no problem, everything’s great. One day, one or two of these people fall out with you, all they have to say is, ‘they touched me inappropriately’, ‘they bullied me’, ‘they spoke inappropriately to me’ and we don’t have a leg to stand on.

Or what about these scenarios, ‘I wish my partner laughed at my jokes like you do’ ‘I wish my partner got the vision of the church like you’ ‘you look good today pastor’ – ‘my partner never tells me that’ seems innocent? The devil is writing it all down, making a list, checking it twice until an appropriate time to let it out.

At this point, we’ve handed over the pencil of our story to the enemy who doesn’t care one bit if it’s not true. It just takes one.

Whereas if policy is in place, the devil can’t write this story because he has nowhere to go. The enemy has accused John and myself of other things, but he can’t get us on this, why? Because we’ve never given him the pencil.

99 times out of a hundred could be just fine. You feel safe, they feel safe – then, wham. We underestimate the schemes of the devil. He is the accuser and he hates us.

The Chinese Bamboo plant is a great teacher. You plant this in the ground and for 5 years you see no progress whatsoever. No shoot coming through at all. You water it, nothing, you feed it, nothing. Then in year six it sprouts 90 ft in just 6 weeks.

Don’t think for one minute that you’ll get away with it.

The enemy of our souls is very patient. He is also the father of lies.

Genesis 4:7 says this, ‘If you do what is right, will you not be accepted, if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door, it desires to have you, but you must master it.’

The abolishing of the Billy Graham Rule (plus) is creeping in, not sure why, maybe for equality, human rights, it’s old fashioned. Whatever the reason, I end how I started, if we do this, we do so at our peril. And ‘the white envelopes’ which are now emails, informing us a colleague has fallen, will increase.

Let’s wise up and not give the devil a foothold in this area.

Until next time,

D x

Sorry it’s been a couple of weeks since my last blog! I’ve had a new grandson! I think that’s a good enough excuse!

Let’s continue….

Patriarchy

Patriarchy has been a part of society for thousands of years and I can’t put everything down that Beth talks about in the book so I’ll jot down the basics that lead us to the question,

 ‘what if patriarchy was a product of the fall and not God’s original design?’ (Pg 25)

 In 1839 a young English scholar discovered the remains of the great Assyrian cities of Nimrud and Nineveh. It housed fragments of one the oldest stories in human existence, the story of the warrior King Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh was half god because of his goddess mother and half mortal because of his earthly father, so the ancient text tells us that Gilgamesh was the fifth king of the First Dynasty of Uruk around 2750BC.

What Beth points out about this ancient story is the continuation of humanity and how emotions of love and loss are exactly the same as they are today. We love and grief just the same.  The reality of patriarchy is also present in this story. Again, time won’t allow me to go into it, suffice it to say although women played not an insignificant role during this time in ancient history but it was seen as always guided by the male characters.

So, in one sense, this could put history on the side of complementarianism, meaning, woman was created to compliment the man and have a role defined around home, children and family. But Beth, and hosts of others, she isn’t alone in this, want to suggest that what if the history that we look back on isn’t, in fact, what God designed, but a product of the fall?

I find this fascinating!

John has often used the analogy of a golf ball to describe something like this. If you miss the trajectory by just a few centimetres, it is easily fixed. If you miss it by miles, it goes way off and is very hard to correct. Have some taken their beliefs that the women should be a home maker and I embolden ‘should’ because that is many women’s choice and I have had my years doing this and loved it! Well, most of the time!  Actually, I think it’s the harder choice – staying at home with young children or being a CEO? Staying at home is by far the harder ‘career’ choice, in my opinion. Personally, I’ve never believed that that should be the role of all women. I repeat, what would happen to our world if every woman stayed at home? I can’t see how some justify this at all.

What is being challenged in this book then is the forced notion that the place of the woman is the home and that a woman shouldn’t preach, teach or work outside of the home – like I said, I’ve never believed that.

So, let’s ask the question again, where did this idea of patriarchy come from? And has it just continued because the writers of history (who are almost always male), only looked back as far as Gilgamesh and not creation?

I’m sure all of you who are reading this are very aware of the creation of man. God said let us make man in our own image. Male and female he created them.  There wasn’t any talk of man ruling over woman until after the fall. I’ve never registered these verses as post-fall despite the times I’ve read it.

 

This comes in Genesis 3:16

To the woman he said,
“I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing;
    in pain you shall bring forth children,
yet your desire shall be for your husband,
    and he shall rule over you.”

 

Patriarchy wasn’t what God wanted; Patriarchy was a result of human sin and Patriarchy is created by people, not ordained by God (pg 29)

 

Before the fall, Adam and Eve were both in submission to God’s authority. After the fall, women would now turn first to their husbands and their husbands, in place of God, would rule over them. (pg 30)

 

The debate between egalitarians (those who argue for biblical equality between men and women) and complementarians (those who argue for biblical gender hierarchy that subordinates women to men) is in gridlock (pg 32)

Complementarians would say that male headship existed before the fall and the egalitarians state that it only came after. (pg 32)

For the author we are looking at, she says it wasn’t just the biblical text that convinced her on the belief of egalitarians, but historical evidence too and she thinks that this evidence can take the conversation forward.

Beth Moore also sees the disconnect between biblical womanhood and the real lives of women in the Bible. She pleads that we should grapple with the entire text from Matthew 1 to Revelation 22 on every matter concerning women. To grapple with Paul’s words in 1 Tim and 1 Cor 14 alongside other words he wrote and make sense of the many women he served alongside…(Pg 36)

Patriarchy exists in the Bible because the Bible was written in a patriarchal world. Historically speaking there is nothing surprising about the many patriarchal bible stories, but what is surprising are the stories that undermine rather than support hierarchy – e.g. Deborah, Huldah – these pair are even a challenge for John Piper (pg 36)

And then we read the verses that are most difficult to explain like Galatians 3:26-28 which says there is no longer male and female….. etc. This is what is radical! And what makes Christianity so different from the rest of humanity! This is what sets both men and women free.  (Pg 37)

Sarah Bessy in her book, ‘Jesus feminist’, says, Patriarchy is not God’s dream for humanity’

The world of Galatians 3 seems more like the world of Jesus. Patriarchy may be a part of Christian history, but that doesn’t make it Christian. It just shows us the historical (and very human) roots of biblical womanhood. (Pg 37)

I’ve just taken a pause, because this is not an easy thing to write about and I wonder if I can continue! It’s certainly stretching me which isn’t a bad thing!

So, for the close, here’s something to think about:

It’s a challenge from Beth. ‘When we rightly understand that biblical passages discussing slavery must be framed within their historical context and that, through the lens of this context we can better see slavery as an ungodly system that stands contrary to the gospel of Christ, how can we not then apply the same standards to biblical texts about women?’ (Page 34)

And, breathe!

See you next time!

D x

I ended last time by saying, maybe this book will change my mind on what I’ve believed all of my life and, although I’ve never believed women shouldn’t be in leadership or have a platform to speak, I have always believed in male headship in the home and, like everyone who believes that too, we get it from scriptures like 1 Timothy 2:9-15 where Paul seems to be saying that he doesn’t permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man and he seems to go further in 1 Timothy 3: 1-7 and Titus 1: 5-9 where it says that only men who excel as heads of their wives and children can be considered for eldership. And then there is the obvious Ephesians 5 one which I actually used at my Minister in Training interview! I bet some of the female panel were cringing! J This was just over a year ago and, given the opportunity again, I probably would have looked at it differently. Wow, I really am re-thinking!

I said seem for a reason which will become clear as we move on through the book.

I want to interject at this point, that for me, John being head over our house has never been a problem or a bone of contention. He is the most wonderful husband (of almost 35 years) and father and I totally trust him to make the right decisions for our family. I was 18 when we got married and it was very natural for me to let John lead. We work together side by side and have a mutual submission to each other nowadays, but I did want to say that I never balked about headship, in fact I said ‘obey’ in our wedding vows! I know it’s not there anymore and could certainly be a problem if your husband is a jerk! (Can I say that?)

Men lead. Women follow. The Bible tells us so.

Page 11

Generally speaking, in Church, you believe what you’re taught whether you grow up in church or come to faith as an adult. Until you do your own research, you grow in the environment and the culture of the church that you belong. I’ll say again, it’s not easy to ask the question, ‘what if I’m wrong’ but, it’s a good exercise to question things, once an alternative is placed before you.

Back to the book!

For Beth (author of the book), even when she began her training as a historian, Christian arguments about male headship troubled her. Christians were not the only ones to argue that women’s subordination is the divine order. In fact Christians were not the first, they came to the party late. So, although we may claim to be different from the world, we shall see how much Christian patriarchy mimics that of the non-Christian world. Page 12

What do I see?

Such an interesting thought here. I don’t know if you’ve EVER imagined that the church could be the thermometer (fitting into the world) rather than the thermostat (setting the correct truth) as far as this subject is concerned. I’ve just accepted this as the Church’s teaching and am looking forward to seeing the history of this from the world history perspective.

Back to the book

What is Patriarchy?

1. Male ecclesiastical leaders, such as the patriarch (archbishop of Constantinople) in Greek Orthodoxy. 2. Legal power of male household heads. 3. A society that promotes male authority and female submission

Page 13

It’s the third meaning that the focus of patriarchy seems to fall. It’s not talking about the ecclesiastical structures of Greek Orthodoxy or about a specific form of fatherly domination within families, but more about a general system through which women have been and are subordinated to men. Page 14

What do I see?

The first two could be accepted, and, we know that we talk about the patriarchs of our faith, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. They were male and I’m not upset about that – I hope no one is! But the traditions that we look back on have created a culture of male authority and female submission which is, I think I’m tentatively beginning to see, not Biblical.

Back to the book

In 2017, American evangelicalism provides a case in point. A 2017 Barna study, focused on the perception of women and power in American society I don’t know how a UK study would have gone (emphasis mine). There were 3 polls to compare attitudes towards women across several demographics, gender, age, political preference and religious identity (Evangelical, Protestant, Catholic and practicing Christian) Interestingly (emphasis mine) Evangelicals came out as the most hesitant group in supporting women’s work outside the home. Only 52% are comfortable with the future possibility of more women than men in the workforce, (this percentage is more than 20 points below that of the general American population. Evangelicals also expressed the most discomfort with female CEOs and pastors. So, for evangelicals these two attitudes are connected. Limiting women’s spiritual authority goes hand in hand with limiting women’s economic power. Page 14

What do I see?

The traditions of evangelical teaching regarding the subordination of women within the home and the church, morph into attitudes about women in the work place. John and I have just had a chat about this and John asked the question, what would happen to the world if we took out all the women who are part of the work force? I think a big thing for me is motive. If our arguments are based on the desire/call to be a female CEO, a football player, a football pundit, a marine or a pastor then I think women should absolutely go for it! If our motive is women’s rights then I think we will become unstuck and our lives will be one of dissatisfaction.

The world values men more than women. The pay gap is just one example. In the 1960’s women earned 71 percent of male wages; today it’s 76 percent

Page 20

Not much change there! I believe in equal pay for the same job, absolutely – however, 3 sets of tennis vs. 5 sets of tennis, equal pay, not so much!

As we continue on this journey, let us do so in light of the Kingdom of God. It is a kingdom that Jesus is pleased to give us, it is a Kingdom that cannot be shaken! More on the history of Patriarchy next time!

D xx

The book I am referring to is The Making of Biblical Womanhood

 

 

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Books – They are such a great thing and I could say, I wish I had more time to read all the books I want to read and, the truth is, I do really. Just turn the TV off more! It’s not rocket science. I read books every day, but I’m challenged to read more and so I aim to do so in 2023.

Books can just be for relaxation, and when I think of my favourites for this, I have to go to the Francine River’s series, The Voice in the wind! Brilliant books. Other books teach you to be bold and confident in your dreams, like, Chase the Lion by Mark Batterson. Others tell the life stories of people we ‘know’ from our TV screens – Matthew Perry was a Christmas present for me! – the book, not him!

Then there are the books that make your eyes water and challenge your ‘all my life’ thinking and to question whether you might actually be wrong in what you thought about a subject. ‘The making of Biblical Womanhood’ – Beth Allison Barr is one such book. I thought I would journey through it with you, if you want to join me, to explore a deeply engrained subject. Some of you will no doubt say, at last, here she comes! I know I am late to the party for many people, but I also think there are a lot behind me too and because it’s not easy to write that you could be wrong, I wanted to document my thoughts as I go through it. Will it convince me that I’ve been wrong? Probably.

Beth Allison Barr is a Professor of History and teaches at the Baylor university in the US. It’s important to note that. She is qualified to speak.

Let’s go.

Beth begins the book by explaining where she is from – Texas and her Church back ground – Southern Baptist. In everything from sermons to Sunday school, she was taught from well meaning teachers that women were called to secondary roles in church and family, with emphasis on marriage and children. That women behind the pulpit were not acceptable unless just describing experience. In other words, no preaching, just story telling. [1]

I am from the North of England and my church background is Pentecostal. I can’t honestly remember that kind of teaching being so prevalent. I know that Elim in the early 90’s debated for years on the ordination of women, but I was outside of that and I don’t remember having an opinion back then. I think I am right in saying that Marilyn Harry – a wonderful friend, who also happened to be on the panel at our very first church interview in Porth 1989! Thank you for giving us the job! – was the first woman to be ordained in Elim – and I will say, very worthy of that ordination. I don’t know if there was pain attached to that journey for Marilyn, I hope not, but there probably was. My thoughts on women leading churches is mainly protective, I have other thoughts too, but protective of my own sex is up there. Ministry is TOUGH. I’ve been in it all my life. My dad was a pastor and the pain I have seen my parents go through, who would want that? And it’s only when the buck stops with you, that you will understand that pressure.

At this point, I should probably tell you that I am in the process of ministry training – I will get ordained in a couple of years unless I’m cancelled for my thoughts! Hahaha! I am laughing as I write this because never in my wildest dreams did I think I would go down this road, maybe I will tell the story later.

For now, back to the book.

Beth was taught and ‘believed’ that women were meant to let their husbands rule (Genesis); wait for the perfect husband (Ruth) mens’ voices were public and women were to be private (1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy) and, when women did take charge it was either because of sin, (Eve) or because a man failed to do their job (Deborah) [2]

This was her world for 40 years. It’s impossible to comment on the whole book, but the crux for her was when she was told by her church that she couldn’t teach anything biblical to a Sunday School class because it had 14 year old boys in it and it was at this age that it was considered you moved from being a child to an adult, therefore not theologically acceptable. The year was 2016.

Again, I would love to know if it was like this in Elim because I don’t remember it being so when we joined Elim in 1979 (my parents were given the Blackpool Church at that time). When John and I first went into ministry, 1989, I said I would never preach because I didn’t think it was for me, not for women, for me. We are over 30 years away from those early days and preaching/teaching are among some of the most favourite things I do! (Not just my opinion by the way). I have never been told I can’t preach/teach in the sense of not allowed. I have had people walk out on me because they don’t think women should, so I don’t take that personally, but it’s never been an official stance of any church I have been in. Let me know if it has been for you. I am interested.

Beth’s qualification as a historian and the evidence she has found, has shown her how biblical womanhood was constructed, century by century and it is this evidence, brick by brick, that changed her mind on everything she had been taught in the church regarding womanhood.

I think it may just change mine too.

Until next time, D x

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[1] Page 1

[2] Page 2