If you’ve read much of my stuff before, you will know that I am a big cheerleader of the John 10:10 life. I believe that Jesus died, ultimately for us to spend eternity with him – no tears, no pain, no death, no sickness, no lack, ever, ever again!! I think it’ll be good and I think I’ll do cartwheels. But, I also believe that Jesus died for us to have an adventure before that day comes. If not, he’d have whisked us off to heaven on the day we said ‘yes’ to him. If you’ve ever watched adventure movies, you’ll know that the adventurous life isn’t a life without storms, fighting or drama – it’s not just about the romance, the happy ending and that ‘at last’ kiss that we girls long for (Pride and Prejudice comes to my mind!). The point is, it’s full, exciting and not dull. I think it should be the same way for those of us who have put our faith in the Son of God, in the creator of the whole universe who chose to live in us, by his spirit. Surely. Beware though, the adventure might mean you have to make saying, ‘goodbye’ a regular feature in your life. For us, we have that life. If you don’t know us, we spend most of our year in Tanzania, East Africa and the rest in the UK. This means that we say goodbye to friends and family a lot and it never gets easy.

We began the ‘goodbye’ journey back in the late 90’s when we first moved to Tanzania with our six and seven-year-olds in tow. Everyone was fine until the moment, then we all lost it! It was tough and it continues to be so. John and I now have to say goodbye to our kids and their spouses because they’re not physically with us on this particular adventure. Modern technology has made it easier, I must admit, and the fact that we are mostly only away for a few months at a time, but even so, it’s still difficult. Our parents are not getting any younger and you do wonder, what if? As we said goodbye this last time, I felt God was talking to me about this side of the adventure and that it’s all part of it. If we’d never said goodbye to familiarity back in 1998, we would never have experienced the 1000’s of hellos we’ve experienced since that day. If we want new hellos, it might mean some goodbyes. I’m not suggesting for a moment that you should all up and emigrate, (unless you want to, then do it), but I am encouraging you to find some new hellos. Ask yourself the question, when was the last time you said hello to someone new? If it’s been a while, then I think you’re missing out. Get out there; there are a whole host of people to meet and to influence. We met some great people last year in Tanga, Tanzania – we never knew they existed, but we already know they will be life-long friends. Increase your circle and you will increase your life. Don’t let the thought of goodbye, hold you back. There are adventures to be lived.

Tears, Spaghetti and Angels     book by Deb, if you’d like to read more….

I realise as I start to write this blog that it could land me in some hot water. So, I asked myself, “Why do I do it?” Why don’t I just write about things that will tickle people’s ears? Why don’t I write about princesses and princes, feathers and crowns? That would be far easier and I’d probably have more ‘followers’. I know that my main motivation for writing the stuff that I do is that I really love God’s church, but I want to stop Christians from either being thrown off a cliff or jumping off themselves. This is happening to too many, in my opinion, (“your honour” – that’s for any ‘Good Wife’ fans!!). They say that you should find your one big thing that drives you crazy and talk or write about that. If you’ve read me before, then you know that what drives me crazy are the amount of Christian lives that are sick, weak, defeated, bitter, disillusioned and, quite frankly, dull, with no adventure in sight. I honestly don’t believe that Jesus went through what he went through for that. And so, although it would be nicer to write about princesses and feathers, I know it won’t do you or me any good.

Before I really get going, I need to stress that I’m not addressing those situations that have happened to you or are happening right now that we have no answers for – I guess there will always be those scenarios. I want to address situations that I think I do have answers for and, unless we take seriously the rules that Jesus commanded us to live by, believers won’t stop falling off cliffs.

Clichés are things that we fall back on when we don’t really know what else to say, here are some of my ‘favourites!’ (In case you don’t know me, I’m being a tad sarcastic here!) I love it when preachers say ‘hello’ as if I’m not in the room or I’m an idiot – Maybe when it first came out, around fifty years ago, it was funny – it’s just not any more so can we stop it? ‘Boom!’ what is that and what does it mean? ‘God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.’ ‘Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, just like living in a garage, doesn’t make you a car’ ‘love the sinner, don’t love the sin’ ‘everything happens for a reason’, ‘Good morning, this is God, I will be taking care of your problems today, so just relax and enjoy your day’, now, some of those are a bit of fun and all maybe carried something when the original author said them first, but after a while, they just become an echo and something easy to say when we can’t think of anything else. The one that I want to hone in on in this particular blog is ‘God is in control’.

I hear this said or written down so many times, that the last time I saw it, I said to myself and to my husband, I’m going to write a blog on these four words that roll off some Christians’ tongue as easily as saying hello to the kids every morning. We need to stop and think more about this little phrase and ask the question, ‘Is He?’ In case you’re freaking out a bit, let me assure you that if you’re a Christian, you are a princess or prince and you are going to heaven – that’s a given because of his grace, thank God! But I do not believe God is in control of a life that is not surrendered to him. You cannot live how you like and make crass decisions and then when something goes wrong, glibly say, God is in control – He just isn’t, you did it all on your own. Here are some scenarios, and there’s probably hundreds more where we simply have no right to say that God is in control – remember I am trying to help and not condemn. (the reason for the red writing will become clear at the end of the list)

• If you lead with manipulation, control and fear and your church or organisation is falling apart around you
• If you’re a nasty, unpleasant or gossiping person at work and you lose your job because of those things.
• If you’re on pornography frequently or you’re having inappropriate relationships with someone you shouldn’t be yet your marriage is struggling.
• If you’re getting drunk regularly and you’re struggling with sickness.
• If you’re a lazy Christian and your life isn’t going as planned.
• If you’re holding un-forgiveness towards someone and you’re suffering with depression.
• If you’re not tithing and giving to church and others and your finances are in a mess
• If you eat far too much wrong stuff and you’ve got a weight or diabetic problem.

The reason I have put the ends of these statements in red is to say that when we pray for things, either in a prayer line or a prayer chain, we often focus on the red things and ignore the black. I want to challenge you and me to have the guts to focus on the black in our lives because if we don’t, we have no chance of getting the red stuff in answered – it won’t happen. I’m not saying that every red part of our lives has a black part, sometimes it doesn’t, things just happen, but I honestly think, after over twenty-five years of ministry, there are far more black parts than we want to acknowledge because that’s just much easier to do. Let’s face it, who wants to go to a prayer line with depression and be encouraged that you need to forgive that person who really hurt you. (forgiveness is not easy and I speak from vast experience, but it can be a step towards healing if we’ll do it, for sure) It’s so much easier to say, this is it for me, but God is in control. Who wants to go out for prayer for a marriage problem and told to face up to the pornography issue? Isn’t it much easier to put an arm around a distraught wife than open that can of worms? Of course it is and that’s what the enemy is more than happy with.

Most, not all, of our problems start with us and our bad choices. (Of course we, as Christians, have to add into the mix our enemy) – I read this recently, ‘everything happens for a reason, and sometimes that reason is because you were stupid’ Did you know that there is a verse in the Bible that uses the word, stupid.

 It’s in Proverbs 12:1

“Whoever loves discipline, loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Wow!

We’re told in James 1:14 & 15

“But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

The death that James is talking about here is not just physical death, although I believe that enough fully grown sin could lead to that, he’s talking about the absence of life.

The death I am pointing out today is the red bits of the above statements. The red bits might look nothing like the baby birthed when you gave birth to death or when you continued to make wrong choices without redeeming them along the way. If you’re struggling with anything that you may perceive as red, let me encourage you to look inside to see if there is any black that you need to deal with first. Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth it? Absolutely, yes! What we can’t afford to do for a minute longer is just accept the red and say, God is in control. He just isn’t, we did it all by ourselves. If you want to talk to me or John about any of this stuff, feel free to contact us – we’d love to help if we can. deb@agapelife.co.uk or john@agapelife.co.uk

If you attack the black, I am confident you are more likely to  defeat the red.

 

The List

Before I let my words speak to you today, I want make it absolutely clear that I believe in the sovereignty of God, meaning: He is boss, He can do what He wants, to whom He wants, when He wants. And, yes, there times when we have to say, ‘I just don’t understand.’ What I am speaking about today is what I think is the general rule of what we can expect, from God, in this life.

I decided to write a hard-hitting blog after seeing again so many Christians who are defeated and who make their defeat known on the lovely/awful Facebook. Have we got an enemy that wants to take us out? Yes. Does he have any authority over the believer who is trying to obey God’s Agape commands? No. Does God, who created the whole universe and raised Jesus from the dead, live on the inside of those who believe? Yes. Do Christians face storms? Yes. Can we win? Yes. Can we win if we don’t fight? No. How long are we supposed to fight for? Until we win.

Take a look at the following lists and I’m sure you’ll easily spot the only difference

Poverty

Sickness

Depression

Bitterness

Mental illness

Hatred

Lack

Pornography

Adultery

Going to heaven

List two

Poverty

Sickness

Depression

Mental illness

Bitterness

Hatred

Lack

Pornography

Adultery

Not going to heaven

I don’t have all the answers and I’m not pretending I do. I’m sure there are times that God sends, allows or brings things to us to challenge and stretch etc. but not as many as we make out. If you find yourself on the list and you want to get off it, I believe that you can, but it will take work, possibly a lot of work. I see too many who are accepting a lower level of life than Jesus died to give us.

Something’s wrong and it isn’t God. Jesus died for more than just heaven.  What are we playing at? I think there is more victory to be had, but I don’t think, generally speaking, we want to obey the commands of God in order to access that victory. If we spent as much time trying to find answers how to get off the list as we do putting everyone right, I think we’d find our voice to speak to the nation and it would be louder, stronger and, more importantly, we’d be listened to. But, too often, we’d rather live with the list – because that’s what’s known, that’s who I am, this is where I am at, it’s not my fault and so on – than dig into God’s word to find out how we access the abundant life that Jesus promised in John 10:10. I want that and I’m pursuing it. Wanna join me?

Thinking of my friend 7 years on…..(I wrote this in August 2015)

On Saturday 25th July 2015, wherever you were in the world and if you loved and cherished Vicky Taylor as a friend or family member, our worlds were shattered. I was in Tanzania watching a movie with John. My messenger app pinged and nothing could have prepared me for the message I read.

“John, Deb. In case you have not heard, we have just seen the very sad news that Vicky Taylor has passed away today. I know you would want to know, to be praying for Al and the children. God Bless.”

 The person who sent us that will never know how eternally grateful I am that I knew before I read it on Face Book. I know that FB is a great place to let a lot of people know stuff but amongst status’ of what someone had for tea or where someone is on holiday, or wedding photos, it would have been very tough for me to read of such a close friend’s death because I had no idea such news was coming. So thank you to you.

Through my tears this is what I said over and over. ‘This can’t be true.’ I guess you said the same.

This is the first time I have lost a close friend and the pain is immense. Being 5000 miles away doesn’t help. I wanted and I think needed to laugh and cry with the Free- Range-Chick girls. I wanted to be at the funeral. I wanted to hug Al and the kids and I couldn’t. Thanks goes out again to friends who called and messaged, for those who I laughed with during those horrendous early days. Facebook was a friend to me during that time and continues to be.

The last time I saw her was at the end of January this year at a Free Range Chick’s retreat. I flew out to Tanzania the week after that and if anyone would have told me that that would be the last time I would see her this side of heaven, I would never have believed it.

I first met Vicky at the Elim conference – it must be over 10 years ago now. I was a pastor’s wife in Wales and I had heard about Vick so wanted her to come and speak at our church ladies’ weekend. She was running Life Link (an organisation that raised money for missions) at the time and it won’t surprise those of you who knew her that she was running around, red in the face in her blue Life Link t-shirt sorting out an event for the conference. After that initial meeting, we became great friends. I never saw her angry, or sad – her smile would greet you across the room and laughter was always high on the agenda even when her world was crumbling at times – and she did have those times.

If anyone were to ask me who is one of my greatest influencers, it would be Vicky. I know so many would say the same. She helped me believe in myself, we did so much stuff together including women’s conferences and SUMO training. The SUMO training event holds a memory! We shared a room and her snoring was sooooo bad, I ended up sleeping in the bath! I’ll never forget seeing her come into the bathroom the following morning and we laughed for a long time. We would meet for coffee/lunch in Marks and Spencer’s at Cribbs Causeway, Bristol and we would talk for hours. She always made me think and I think I did the same for her.

I was at the very first Free-Range Chicks conference and I still don’t know how this came about but she asked me to sing the Shania Twain song, Man, I feel like a woman at the banquet. There we were all dressed in our poshest dresses ready for a lovely evening of wining and dining. I had NEVER done anything like this before in such a setting and, to be honest, I was very nervous! I didn’t know how it was going to go down and I wondered whether I’d be kicked out of our denomination for it! (Not really, but I think it crossed my mind!) There were some older ladies there from Elim and I just didn’t know if they’d get it! Let’s face it, it’s and unusual song choice for a ladies conference, right? Maybe they’d walk out? Anyway, the time came and within the first few beats of the song, it took off! I loved it, they loved it and I ‘forgave’ Vick for making me do it!! I’ve sung it at a few women’s events since then and it’s all down you to my friend…Thanks!

If your passing was the end, I’m not sure how a lot us would carry on especially Al, Abi, Luke, Jon and Sam – you were an amazing friend, wife, mum, aunty, sister and cousin. I am so very grateful that Jesus was the reason we met and that Jesus is the reason we will see you again – what a party that will be – do you think I could sing, ‘Man, I feel like a woman??’ My heart is at rest because I know that truth but still, for now, this truth remains:

My world will be a little less because you are gone from it.

See you later Vick……

Deb x

I realise that the title of this blog may scare a few people but lately I have read so many thoughts and platitudes on social media, even from high profile speakers that I am compelled to write. I write with a heavy heart because I believe, generally speaking, we are giving out false information to believers. Let me try and explain what I mean.

Here are some of things we often say as Christians:

“Good morning, this is God, I will be taking care of your problems today so just relax and let me take care of them.”

“Remember that God is always with you and He wants to fight for you. When he allows difficult situations to come your way, you can put your trust in him to be in control and cause everything to work out for good in the end (Romans 8:28) so no matter what happens, hold your peace, remain at rest.. and trust God to fight your battles.”

“God is in control”

“It must be God’s will for this to happen.”

“Whatever happens must be God’s will”

“The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.”

You might be thinking, ‘what is wrong with any of those sentiments – they sound lovely and we’re only trying to comfort each other.’ Unfortunately, that is just what they are ‘nice sentiments.’ Don’t go away yet… We have been so blasé with these kinds of comments, that when it goes badly wrong, the church is left floundering, disappointed and confused as to what actually just happened. The devil is more than happy for us to spout out these words because he knows they won’t work automatically. Stay with me, this will get better – honest!

I’ve got lots of stories I could tell to illustrate what I’m saying but here are just two.:

We once worked with a guy who was very high up in the Elim movement in Africa. We thought he was a great guy (in the main, he was) and we worked very well together. One day we awoke to the news that he had been killed in a motorcycle accident and we were devastated. We couldn’t understand why this had happened and we talked to God about it. We asked things like, ‘where is Psalm 91?’ ‘What about Romans 8:28?’ and so on… As the days went by, it came to our attention that this guy had been living a lie. He had been deceiving many people that felt too afraid to speak out whilst he was alive. Why do I tell you that story? Because if we had heard that he had died, without knowing the full story, we would have spent the rest of our lives wondering why on earth this happened to someone who was a leader in the Church and seemingly a man with good character. Living the way he did most certainly did not affect is eternal status – he went to heaven BUT did it affect his life on earth? Did it affect his connection to God? I absolutely believe it did. God will not be mocked and, if we don’t take his word seriously, we are asking for an early exit.

The devil is too clever for disconnected Christians to fight him.

 Another guy we worked with in Africa also worked for us in Sporting Marvels (a sports ministry in Wales) as a prayer co-ordinator and he died prematurely. We were all shocked!! Big tributes were paid to him because we thought we knew him inside out and then we found out he was married to two people. He had two families and they didn’t find out about each other until the funeral. Has he gone to heaven? Yes I believe he has. Had he lost his connection to God and the ability to be effective for Christ on earth? Yes he had.

The problem is, we think we know. We think that we know a person. If we don’t ask the tough questions, the church just thinks, ‘Oh well, this must have been God’s will!!” We get passive. The truth is, in a lot of instances, if we knew the person, if we knew some background, we’d be more likely to say, ‘Oh… maybe that’s why that happened, maybe they were disconnected’ Much, much harder to take this approach but, in my opinion, it’s far better than the random way we just say, ‘God’s in control’ that’s too easy to say.

Don’t you think that’s an easy cop out? I do. I think we say, ‘God is in control’ far too easily. I think God, occasionally but more than we imagine, is saying, ‘this is nothing to do with me!!’ It’s because of your choices that you are where you are right now.

The verse mentioned above in Romans is the one quoted very often… ‘All things work together for good.” And we leave it there…. It actually says, ‘All things work together for good FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE LORD.” I could explain what I think loving the Lord might look like but I’m going to say what it doesn’t look like instead. Let me stress at this point that I am talking about deliberate, long-standing choices in the following list and NOT a one-off blip. It’s important that you understand that. We all mess up most days if we’re honest but, if we are close to the Lord, we quickly confess and keep a short account with Him. I’m honing in on prolonged bad choices here with no care for God or others:

• Holding un-forgiveness
• Lack of commitment to church
• Too much alcohol
• Pornography
• No prayer
• Lack of understanding of the Bible
• Control and manipulation
• Anger
• Jealousy
• Sex outside of marriage
• etc. etc.

As Christians, our job, after we’re saved, is to give ourselves the best possible chance of making it on earth. I believe, I know not everyone does, that whatever you do after you’re truly saved, you will go to heaven but if you want a John 10:10 life, you’re going to have to work at it. The days of being passive and saying things like, ‘God is in control,’ yet living exactly how you want, are over. We MUST be more responsible than this and make sure that when our storms come, and they will and sometimes they are fierce, that we are in a great position to fight! The key: Prepare before the storm hits.

So, has God got anyone’s back? Yes He has. Can anyone be confident in such scriptures as, ‘The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still?’ Yes they can. I have two very dear friends who are going through health battles right now but I’m confident they are fighting from a strong position. God has the backs of those who are seeking to follow him, who are seeking to love him with all their heart, soul, mind and strength, to love their neighbours as they love themselves and, the hardest one of all, to love one another as he has loved us. Yes it’s a tall ask but, if we’re not at least trying to work at these things, in my opinion, I don’t think he has your back…….

If you’re interested to read more of my thoughts, here is the link to one of my books:

“Get your feet off the Table”

 

 

One of the things I used to hate about high school (there were a few but I will stick to one!) was walking home in the cold and rain – the rain thrashing my legs as I lugged my body up the hills to my house – I shudder as I remember those days! During my time in high school, I had a paper round – the things you did for money! I earned the grand total of a penny per paper and it was just once a week, I couldn’t have coped with one every day I’m sure. I could either do it on a Wednesday or a Thursday. So many weeks I made the fatal error of not doing it on the Wednesday meaning I HAD to do it on the Thursday come rain or shine. Occasionally I would make the decision to deliver the papers on a Wednesday which made the Thursday afternoon walk home on these weeks, bliss! For these 5 years of my life, I had a routine. I knew my way home, I did it automatically, I didn’t have to think about the streets I was walking on – I knew it well. Our lives go in seasons and so my ‘challenge’ for this blog isn’t really about seasons of routine but rather lifetimes of routine.

I heard a speaker once talk about going home a different way and his point was, if you do that, you will see different things, meet different people, possibly meet new challenges, especially if you’re on foot.

When we first moved to Tanga, 4 months ago now, we knew no one except the Tanzanians who we’d worked with for 17 years – we had no social mates and, fortunately for John and I, we love each others company and so we made it work and it gave us the time to write and develop ourselves. I have to admit though I really missed doing coffee or lunch with girlfriends. I did. In fact, let me interject here, I hope you’ve all freed up your diaries for November! I’m happy to say, it is beginning to change and just the other week, we were invited to a BBQ and I was like a little girl going to a birthday party! I felt so excited that we were going to a social event! That night turned into the start of a friendship that we feel will continue to grow into a close one. We’ve talked recently about the challenges that living in Tanzania bring – and, again, there are many frustrations, BUT I would not swap it because of the richness it has brought into our lives.

We’ve talked on our ‘Under the Banda’ broadcasts (you can access these here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0HhuWHmhj4) about spaces and about how God sometimes leads you into openness that seems lonely and scary for a while and you have to learn new lessons whilst in that space. What we have found though is that, after a period of emptiness, He begins to fill that space with people, experiences and things that we would never have known had we not taken those steps. I can’t imagine my life if I had stayed as that schoolgirl delivering newspapers once a week metaphorically speaking. What about you? How do you know what is ‘round a corner’ if you always ‘go home the same way?’ Has your life become such a rut that you never do anything new or different? Maybe you always have the same meals on a Thursday, maybe you take the same thing to lunch every day, maybe you ‘crawl’ into work every day yet you can’t stand what you do. How tragic is that? What you eat is neither here nor there – it’s not tragic but you should try something new, you never know, you might even like it; however, spending your everyday life doing something you’re not enjoying, and you’ve been doing it for years, is. It is tragic. I’m not saying you should walk into your dream job at age 15 and you’re sorted for life – we all have to go through a process of getting to that place of satisfaction in our work/life balance. I have done my fair share of naff jobs so I know all about that season. But what I am saying is, life should be good! God breathed his life into us for us to have an adventure – I’m having one and I hope you are too and, if you’re not, change it. It is in your hands. If you’re in work reading this (I hope you don’t get sacked!) let me challenge you to find a new route home tonight! Who knows what you will see.

Beth and I will be talking in more detail about how to live a John 10:10 life at our conference, ‘Brave,’ in November. We have some amazing plans so you should think about coming – the only proviso is, you must be a girl! Sorry boys! Go to our website and click on ‘events’ for more details, I promise you won’t be disappointed! www.agapelife.co.uk.

The world doesn’t care anymore about what Christians disagree with – it really doesn’t! It really doesn’t! So we are just going to have to go about it in a different way. We are going to have to show that, if lived properly (that’s another blog!) the Christian life holds the most benefits both on earth and in heaven. Who is that up to? You and me! It’s our shift, so let’s get on it! John 10:10

This question was sparked in me by a Bible verse that a friend of mine put on Face book the other day. The verse was this:

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

It’s found in 1 John 4:7-8.

John’s life message and mine is the Royal Law, as many of you reading this would know. If you don’t know what that is, write to me: deb@agapelife.co.uk and I’ll gladly explain it. Do we live it fully? of course not…. But it’s verses like this that make me realise and remind me how serious it is! God isn’t joking about this stuff. He says if you don’t love, YOU DON’T KNOW GOD! Oh my word…. I’ve written other blogs on Facebook before and you can find them by going to my blog page http://www.debbullock.wordpress.com if you want to read them but this is a new slant I’d like to challenge you and me with. Facebook is about sharing your life, your joys, your sorrows, your achievements, your photos etc… and we all know we check more than once how many ‘likes’ we’ve had, we look down the list and say things like, ‘wow, so and so liked it!’ or ‘ no ‘likes’ from so and so!’ Don’t pretend you don’t do that because you do. It’s how we’re designed, we want to be liked, we want to be celebrated and we want to be loved. After all, the people that we have on our particular face book pages are supposed to be friends… but what about when those friendships break down? What about when we fall out of favour with one another? What happens then? How do we manifest that on Facebook? This is how: we stop ‘liking’ things that each other writes… Pathetic aren’t we? I’m not writing just to you, I’m writing to myself. If we’re Christians, we are commanded to love one another and if we don’t then, according to John, we don’t know God. Let me challenge you, however you feel towards a person, even if they’ve done something terribly wrong, they still have worth as a human being – you don’t have to agree with the choices they may have made but we are absolutely duty bound to love each other. Does not ‘liking’ something I put on Facebook mean you don’t love me, to some degree, I think it does. I see it as a lack of wanting to celebrate my life. The challenge is to ‘like’ more things than you have done in a while on someone’s Facebook status’ – It takes less than a second to click that mouse and, even if they don’t ‘like’ you back, you’re doing what’s right and sharing the love of God all the time even if you don’t feel like it! Let the past go and let’s celebrate one another more. I’m sorry for the times I haven’t ‘liked’ a particular photo or status because I’m struggling with the person who’s written it. That’s bound to happen, we have an enemy who wants nothing more than for us to all go off one another! That’s not what’s going to speak to the world is it? So, if you or I want to know God then we need to make sure we love one another and, in the 21st century, rightly or wrongly, one of the biggest ways we can do that is on social media. If it’s so painful, then break away and delete that person – I think you have permission to do that – but, if you still have them as a friend, then that means something. So love them by celebrating who they are – if we’re on the same side, then let’s train our weapons on the real enemy and not each other.

“He who does not love does not know God….” At least think about it….

I usually need inspiration to write and that inspiration comes in a variety of forms. Sometimes it’s because of a bad experience, a good experience, a conversation or, as in this particular case, a movie! Movies are a favourite past time of mine and I don’t mind how many times I’ve seen them. If they’re good, I’ll watch them over and over again. Just as well for this blog because I’d seen this particular film a couple of weeks ago but watched it again the other day because my husband, John hadn’t seen it. I don’t usually watch them quite so close together but when you’ve just moved to Africa and you only have a certain amount of baggage allowance, our DVD selection is slim to say the least! Fortunately, for me, my hubby will watch chick flicks and I’m grateful for that!

So, the movie that inspired this blog was, “In her shoes.” I won’t tell the story – wouldn’t want to spoil it but I do want to pick up on one particular line that I had missed in all the other times that I’d watched it – proof enough that you need to watch a good movie more than once! One of the girls in the film has a ridiculous amount of shoes and she explains to her sister that the reason for this is that they make her feel good when she’s sad. The line that she said that sparked my thinking was:

 “Shoes always fit!”

It is unusual for me to walk past a shoe or a bag shop and not stop to have a look – John often says, ‘what is it with women, bags and shoes?’ I don’t want to put every woman in the same basket of course but it is a well-known fact that most women do love bags and shoes. Having heard that line in the movie, I began to wonder, is the reason that we love them so much is because they do always fit? Our bodies, which let’s face it, unless we are disciplined, or young (your time will come!) fluctuate up and down. Millions of women spend countless pounds or dollars on the latest diet fad. Summer is on its way and I bet some of you who are reading this are determined to get into that size 6 bikini?!?!? Even though we said the same thing last winter, this year it’s going to be different. How do I know? Because I’m on the same quest! Not the size 6 journey I hasten to add! That was a joke for affect.

Shopping for clothes maybe difficult or even embarrassing for you – I know this through experience – when I went back to the UK after living in Africa for the first time back in the late ‘90’s, we hadn’t been back for 2 years and I hadn’t stood on a weighing scales in all that time. We were going to my cousin’s wedding and I had to buy new trousers. I had gone up two sizes and I was horrified! Even recently, a week before my daughter’s wedding, I tried my dress on again and couldn’t fasten it! I went on a major ‘starvation’ diet for a week and I did manage to get into it! It isn’t a nice feeling being overweight and, thankfully, I am on my way down. For a lot of women, their weight is the biggest battle they face and, for some, it’s a lifetime battle. And, it’s true, the older we get, especially if you’ve had kids, it’s harder than it was to lose weight. Can it be done? Of course, but you’ll have to work at it, there are no magic formulas. If I want to get a bikini body, then I’m not going to be able to drink 6 cans of pop or eat junk all day every day, that’s not how it works!

HOWEVER, shoes and bags are a completely different scenario! I have been size 6 in a shoe for as long as I can remember! However much my weight and shape may have fluctuated over the years, my shoe size has stayed the same! There is no embarrassment when you’re looking at shoes – making sure no-one sees what size you are, no embarrassment looking a handbags and wondering if people (mainly girls who can be pretty nasty at times! Just ask Vivien in ‘Pretty Woman!’) Whispering, ‘she’ll never get into that!’ There just isn’t any of that! Is that the psychological reason why we love them so much? I don’t know but I think I may have hit on something.

As I’ve already mentioned, I live in Africa now where my shoe collection is basically down to flip-flops! I have one pair at the moment (see picture) – give me time, I have my eye on new pair BUT I did bring a couple of pairs of highish heels with me because I missed them last year when I was here. The places where you would go to wear a pair of heels are very few and far between especially where we live but I have them with me and I am sure I will wear them because I, along with millions of other girls, love shoes and I won’t be deprived, Africa or not! My bag collection isn’t much better either but, again, I did bring my Radley bag and a couple of others that don’t really ‘match’ Africa but they’re mine and I’m a girl!

So, hear endeth my thoughts on bags and shoes. It might not change anyone’s life but hopefully it’ll bring a smile to your face the next time you go handbag or shoe shopping! If you’re going for a little black dress fitting, you probably shouldn’t eat chocolate or crisps before that fitting, if you’re going for a new pair of shoes, eat away!!! Happy shopping!