The title of this blog will become clearer as you read – honest. But first, a question: what is sin? A strange word that isn’t heard other than in religious circles. To me, sin is anything that violates God’s commands to love. Agape Love is the only way that this Christian life will work properly and the bar has been set high, but it is a bar that every Christian can at least attempt to reach. Aren’t you glad He didn’t leave us with the 613 laws of the Old Testament? If that were the case, instead of reading this, you’d probably have to go out shopping for animals for your daily sacrifices. I say, ‘thank you Lord’ that Jesus came and replaced 613 with just two. ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength’ and ‘love your neighbour as you love yourself.’ We need to add, ‘love one another as I have loved you’ even though Jesus doesn’t say that one at the same time as the other two, He did say it and He said it to the church. This is probably the hardest part to keep because it involves loving fellow Christians which, if you’ve been around church for any length of time, can be very difficult to do. That is why He commanded it. So any act of sin disconnects you from the Father (not from your salvation, but from walking in the fullness of the blessings of God) until the point that you confess it and God forgives you. He’s promised that He will. Isn’t that great news?

“If you confess your sin, he is faithful and just to forgive your sin and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

Even though we have great scriptures like that, it’s unrealistic to think that we, as Christians, will ever stop sinning all together, it should get less, but it will always remain. Because sin will always be with us, the church should be a place where those who struggle can come and feel safe; they can talk and get help without feeling like a useless failure or, worse still, receiving judgement and condemnation. I’m not talking about forgoing consequences, you have to live with consequences if you make wrong choices – that’s life. But agape is the answer to help those who are struggling, to a place of victory. Sadly, too many people have been judged and ‘thrown out’ (felt compelled to leave church) when what they needed was unconditional love and restoration. Do I mean that we just ignore sin in church? Of course not, like I said, consequences are a natural force after any choice we make, but we should leave the consequences to those in leadership (and hopefully they will carry them out under the banner of Agape) Our job is to make sure a person who’s failed knows that they still have value as a human being.

So, why did I call this blog, ‘Learning to wee where it can’t be seen?’

It’s a funny title that carries a serious message and it came from a conversation I was having with my daughter and son-in-law. We were discussing this issue of sin and what happens to a person whose leaders lead by fear, control and manipulation.

I don’t own a dog, but I am told that if you continually beat it for weeing in the wrong places instead of training it where to wee, because of fear of a beating, it will go off in a corner and do its business where you won’t see. It’s the same with sin. If you know that if people found out about your struggle with a certain sin and that that would lead to a beating (metaphorically speaking, well, at least I hope so!), and if you have no one you can talk to about it, you will carry on in a corner where no one can see. You’ll struggle alone. Christians mess up, we know it, but what I am saying is this, if our churches, organisations, ministry teams, environments etc. don’t create a culture of love and forgiveness, then there will be a whole lot of ‘weeing’ going on and it won’t be seen.

Some times ministry teams are places where sin issues aren’t talked about and if a team member messes up, instead of helping them through or finding out the whys of it, (forgetting the consequence for the time being), the person is judged and more often than not, sent on their way – no forgiveness or unconditional love shown. What this creates is an environment of fear where no one dare mess up and admit it. The problem with that is that people will still mess up, but they will learn how to bury it under ground so no one ever finds out. This goes on to create a very superficial atmosphere where everyone pretends that he or she is doing fine. He or she can learn how to smile, pray, worship and say all the right things. We are good at that and then we leave church or work and head to our secret life – and we will get away with it, for a while at least.

It would be so much better if we created environments that promote this verse that Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

If you’re a leader of any description, make sure that the people who you lead know that the best way to live this Christian life is to make good, solid, sound choices. Tell them not to let the enemy into areas of their lives where they feel vulnerable. Tell them to ditch their computer if they’re getting into porn, but also make sure they know that when or if they mess up, you will not condemn them, but you will provide a safe environment (maybe that would have to be another church depending on the situation) and that they will always have worth as a person. Don’t make the group you lead go off in corners to ‘wee’ where no one can see. That helps no one.

If a group or a church is lead by control and manipulation then the environment that is created is false. There will be hurting people, bound people and scared people who daren’t confess their struggles.

So let’s be patient with each other and also create an atmosphere where no one feels scared to talk about their difficulty with sin. Living in sin will limit your life, so talk to someone who can help you get free.