I read an article recently about a parent who was training their child to sit in church due to the fact that there wasn’t a programme for her child’s age group. It was a great article. She had to take the child out on occasion but she wouldn’t let him/her run around as if leaving the service was freedom! Great parenting requiring much patience! Well done to that mum! Not sure I could have done it!

I was reminded of the particular article whilst in church in Tanzania and it inspired me to write this blog!

If you’ve ever been to Africa, the 1 hour hymn – prayer sandwich service doesn’t exist! Meetings go for 3 hours and that’s being conservative!

The kids in the church that we were in recently sat on the two front rows. They sang, danced, clapped and closed their eyes when someone was praying. Out of around 15 children, probably 2 of them moved out of their seats. They were no toilet breaks, no drinks (and it was boiling!) and no biscuits, no crèche or Sunday school. (Sunday school happens at another time)

When the time for the sermon came, still they sat! And then, the head of Elim was in the meeting with a special announcement and he spoke for at least another half hour and still they sat! Finally the 5th choir performance came and we were almost at three hours…Were they bored? Hard to tell. I don’t know if African kids even know the word ‘bored!’ but still they never moved.

The UK has created a society that entertains children wherever
they go. Playgrounds in restaurants, kids menus, shopping trolleys shaped as cars, crèches for parents to leave kids so frazzled mums and dads can shop in peace. We’ve got portable DVD players in cars, Kids meals, Kids’ iPads so that when in a restaurant, they can be entertained and so on and so on and so on….. What’s it going to be like in another 20 years?

What about child locks on cupboards? I remember my mum commenting on this and it stuck with me. She said, when you were little, we just had to watch you and train you to not go in the cupboards or near the fire. In other words, I had to learn, ‘no.’

Some churches have amazing kids’ programmes!! Many of our children don’t ever go into the main service anymore so they don’t have to learn to sit.

Before you think about throwing stones at me, hang on! I’m a mum and have used most of the above things and the only reason I haven’t used all of them is because they didn’t exist when my kids were little! 9 hour journeys in Africa – would I have had a portable DVD player??? YOU BET!!

What needs thinking about though is this: if all those things were taken away from your kids, could you take your child to church, shopping, to eat out etc and they would know how to behave without the relevant ‘entertainment?’ What happens when you say ‘no’ to your child? Do they accept your ‘no’ or do they perform their manipulation in whatever form they’ve learned until your ‘no’ turns to ‘yes!’ Maybe you never even say ‘no’ just to keep the peace. If you never say ‘no’ to a child, you’re not loving them properly.

In some schools in the USA now teachers aren’t allowed to say ‘no’ to children! If a child hits another, the teacher says to the kid that did the hitting, ‘how did that make you feel?!?!’ God help us……(maybe it’s similar in the UK -I don’t know)

As adults, we crave instant gratification. Fast food, microwaves, drive through petrol, grocery delivery…whatever you want, good or bad, you can get it fast…. Good or bad, at the touch of a button, it’s yours. So there is little wonder our kids want the same.

I am absolutely for kids’ church, Sunday school, youth programmes, crèches and so on (I’ve done them all!) I grew up going to Sunday school. In some of the churches my dad pastored, it was on a Sunday afternoon and so me and brother had to sit still in church. Kids can gain great benefits from being taught in a way that suits their age. I am not against it.

And I don’t think that kids in the UK or Africa should have to sit through a 3 hour service where there is nothing relevant to them but the point I want to make is that in Africa, kids can.

It’s worth thinking about….