As a family, we are celebrating two big birthdays this weekend. My dad, Jim, is 70 and our daughter, Beth is 21! I am at a loss as to how Beth can be 21 by the way, when surely I am still only 21 myself but there we have it!

Milestone birthdays cause us to think and look back and I began to wonder a lot about ‘what ifs’ There are probably hundreds but I will only mention a few relating to my family…what if my dad hadn’t become a Christian when he was a young man, he would never have met my mum and I would never have been born. What if John, my husband, hadn’t given his life to Christ when he was 28 in a little church in Blackpool that my dad was pastoring? We would NEVER had met. Our lives and backgrounds were so completely different from each other that the chances of us even meeting let alone marrying were nil. If we’d never had met and married, then our amazing kids, Chris and Beth wouldn’t be on the planet and their great partners, Justine and Sam, would not be in our lives. And so on and so on….. We can all do the ‘what ifs’ about our own lives and, of course, some ‘what ifs’could be ‘if I hadn’t done that, my life would be better’Regrets and wrong choices are a part of all of our lives but the bigger point is this: If you’re reading this, you’re alive, you have a life, you were not an accident, you were not a mistake! God intended for you to be on earth and if anyone has ever told you any different, maybe a parent or a teacher, THEY WERE/ARE WRONG! It’s not how you were conceived but why you were conceived…

If you have ever seen the movie, ‘It’s a wonderful Life’ you’ll know that it portrays the life of George, a man whose life is good for a while but then begins to go wrong… One night, he wants to end it all because he thinks the world would be better off without him. His guardian angel, Clarence (and wouldn’t we all want one like him!) shows him exactly what the world would have been like if he hadn’t been born. His brother, whose life George saved, would have drowned. His boss who almost wrongly subscribed poison to one of his customers would have killed someone if George hadn’t seen it. His children wouldn’t have been born. George realises that his life does count and they all live happily ever after…It’s a beautiful portrayal of human life and the knock on effect that each life has.

You may think that your life is pointless, you may wonder why you’re on the planet. Just stop today and do the ‘what if’ ‘game’ and see where it takes you. If you regret some of your ‘what ifs’, I know someone who is just amazing at giving 2nd, 3rd, 4th to infinity of chances. He knows you better than you know yourself, he created you for a reason. You can get to know him if you don’t but if you do, come on! Realise who it is who lives inside you. And go for extra-ordinary things. You can start by asking the ‘what if’ I hadn’t become a Christian, the answer? You wouldn’t be going to heaven…….That’s enough to change your day…

We’ve all heard the question and maybe asked it, ‘Does my bum look big in this?’ Any man worth his salt would tell you the truth at this point but the problem is whether or not the truth is really wanted! When a question like that is asked, the question bearer has to seriously ask ‘do I want the truth or am I looking for a compliment even if it’s not the truth?’

The Bible says, ‘Speaking the truth in love, we will grow up in all things’ (Eph 4:15)
Having the truth told to you is no easy thing – no-one wants their weak points pointed out because it’s an intrusion into areas of life that can be sensitive. Body odour, bad breath, sharp tongue, lack of patience, to name just a few! Who wants to broach such subjects? You are likely to suffer backlash and you may even lose a friend either permanently or for a time…. Speaking the truth can be risky business! BUT if we want to grow up in ALL things, we need someone in our lives who will be bold enough to tell us the truth whatever the reaction. If we want to be the best we can be, then we have to realise that there are things in our lives called blind spots – things that everyone else can see, and we can’t, hence the reason they are called blind spots!

So, here is the question: Who tells you the truth? Have you got anyone? Or, did someone try it once but, because of your reaction, backed off and has never done it since! Have you got someone in your life who is ‘allowed’ to tell you stuff that may sting a little but, if they are right, and if you will listen and take it on board, then you take a step closer to being a better person.

It must be stressed that the person who tells you the truth must be a person who loves you and also wants the best for you. It CANNOT be a person who just wants to be mean and continually point out your faults! Who wants that?

Everyone needs a coach – their job is to help you get good things into your life and bad things out! If you haven’t got one, get one!

And, if you’re not sure you want the truth, think twice before you ask, ‘does my bum look big in this!’

Feel free to share! Until next time, D x

My relationship with Face book has been an on/off affair over the years… Sometimes I love it, other times, it drives me insane! I have often asked myself the question, what is it for? For some, it is the only way they get to communicate their emotions, for others, it gives them a moment of significance if someone ‘likes’ their status and for that fleeting moment, you may feel important and if no-one ‘likes’ it, then the opposite is true…’Oh no! no-one likes me!’I have found myself checking every few minutes to see if anyone has commented on my status and I know, so have you! I have sighed and been mad at some of the things I’ve seen and wished that I’d never seen them because if I hadn’t then I wouldn’t be thinking about it and I wouldn’t be mad! Facebook can be very emotionally driven and it is very easy to write something for the world to see which you regret afterwards, but it’s too late! It’s out there. You can’t take it back. It’s very easy to read into someones status something that is not true and before you know it, you’ve made an assumption and a judgement that isn’t what the person meant at all. Maybe you’ve been tempted to write a response to justify a situation – I know I have and I can type so I could do it quickly, press the ‘send’ button and live to regret it!

I have been off FB for about a month now…. What do I miss? I miss being in contact with friends from overseas,family members and friends that are not in my everyday life. What don’t I miss? Status’ that tell me how fed up someone is, or that tell me they went to the dentist today or invites to play ‘Farmville!’ Is that still a game?

I tried to go back on the other day and had the bright idea that I would just be friends with the people who I don’t see…. But when it came to deleting friends, I just couldn’t do it! It felt too ruthless…So, the question I’m left with is, do I stay away so as not to have my day interrupted by things that I just don’t want to know or see or do I put up with that and delete as I go those who tell me those things so that I can benefit from being in touch with friends and family that I never see?

So…Facebookers- a word of caution… especially if you’re a Christian, before you press that ‘send’ button, make sure what you’re about to announce to the world is positive. Even ask God to help you if you’re not sure, but my guess is, if you’re not sure, then don’t press send! There’s enough negative stuff in the world today so let’s use Facebook as a positive tool to influence for good… Think before you type!