Wow! It’s Monday again! Where do the weeks go! Thanks for all your comments on the blog, keep them coming, it’s all good food for thought.

Last week I mentioned that I didn’t believe that children have to walk away from God or church and so I’d like to share some thoughts on that and on my own experience with my kids, Chris (22) and Beth (20), who are both still walking with God and involved in church. Now, don’t go on a guilt trip if yours aren’t, keep reading and keep hope alive because if nothing is impossible for those who believe then nothing is impossible for those who believe!

I don’t think it’s random.  Some kids make and some kids don’t? I think the church should be the greatest place for kids to grow up in and not the worst. I read a frightening statistic recently from an American survey of ministers and their families that said this: 80% of adult children of pastors sought professional help for depression! Surely it isn’t meant to be like this…..

When my kids were younger, someone said to me, ‘Oh they’ll go away from God for a while and then they’ll come back’ I immediately said, (to myself, I was too scared to say it to her face!) no they won’t thanks very much.  I decided that I wasn’t going to have that for my kids. I didn’t want them going into the world of drugs, alcohol and sex and getting a whole load of baggage from the devil so I went to war for them. Did they make mistakes? Yes! Do they have any regrets? Yes! Were they perfect? Absolutely not! (even though some believe that pastor’s kids should be) Were we perfect parents? No we weren’t. I don’t know everything that my kids got up to and I don’t want to!  but I know enough to know that it wasn’t easy for them growing up in a pastor’s home, they had their own battles to face and some of the stuff they went through was very tough. BUT I never let go spiritually.

When you have a baby, as you know, (unless you’re a man and then you haven’t got a clue! haha!), the physical umbilical chord is cut and that life that has been a part of its mum for 9 months becomes an individual. I remember that I felt God say to me once, the physical chord may have been cut but you NEVER have to cut the spiritual one! You are in control of that one! I fought and prayed for my kids constantly. When they were asleep, when they were out I would pray in their room, sometimes shouting at the top of my voice! The devil wasn’t having my children. I couldn’t intervene in the consequences of their choices – I wish I could have – but I prayed and I continue to pray and fight for them to this day, I also have a beautiful daughter-in-law now, I pray and fight for her too! The fight doesn’t stop.

Who is responsible for your kids spiritual well being? The church, the youth group, the youth pastor? They are good aids of course,  but the key is you! I know it’s hard if you belong to a church where there are no kids of your kids age and I know people who have moved church for that reason. I’m not advocating that but for some families that may be necessary. Another friend of mine was so concerned for her kids that she started a youth club that they could go to.

Where the parent goes the child will follow. If they see Jesus as the main ingredient in your life, then no matter what they go through, that will always be their anchor! But if they don’t see ‘Jesus’ in the home and if your commitment to Him and His church is weak then it’s likely that they will go out into the world which is portrayed as a candy store and it’s not until they’re in it that it turns into the ‘child catcher’s cage’ (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang) If you’re not bothered about your own spiritual growth, then you can’t expect your children to be bothered about theirs.

Chris and Beth both had different experiences. Chris joined Sporting Marvels (if you want to know what that is go to http://www.sportingmarvels.com) when he was 17 and, so from a young age, he was planted into an environment that helped him grow spiritually and in a sense there were eyes all around him watching his back so he never ventured into the world as such. (as far as I know anyway!) Beth was different, she didn’t follow the same path as Chris which I wouldn’t have wanted unless she’d have wanted that. Without going into detail, she made some bad choices and suffered some consequences because of those choices but I never gave up!! It’s a bit like them being on a piece of elastic that goes so far and then you have to rein it back in! She never stopped coming to church (that was our families habit – important ingredient) and about 18 months ago, things turned around rapidly and we are where we are today. I was driving to a women’s weekend around that time and I was thanking God for what had happened and, as clear as day, I felt I heard God say, ‘You did it!’ I burst out crying and realised what He meant. I had fought enough and seen a victory. You cannot afford to stay passive. Passivity won’t bring your kids through but fighting will! Remember, nothing is impossible for those who believe.

Here are some practical ways that worked for us and I trust they will help you too and if you haven’t got kids yet, take them on board for later!

1: Going to church has been a habit in my life since before I was born, so we passed it on, it was never debated. Sunday was church.

2: We were no different in the home than we were at church.

3: They watched us have daily quiet times

4: They’ve watched how much we love each other

5: We prayed with them every night.

There are probably more things and you may have some tips to pass on! If your kids are still in church, celebrate and don’t stop praying for them, if they’re not, up your spiritual battle for them.  ‘How long do you fight?’ answer? Until you win!